Contact Us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

You can edit the text in this area, and change where the contact form on the right submits to, by entering edit mode using the modes on the bottom right. 

           

123 Street Avenue, City Town, 99999

(123) 555-6789

email@address.com

 

You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab.
Link to read me page with more information.

Mc8kW4x9Q3aRR3RkP5Im_IMG_4417.jpg

Blog

Praesent commodo cursus magna, vel scelerisque nisl consectetur et. Curabitur blandit tempus porttitor. Fusce dapibus, tellus ac cursus commodo, tortor mauris condimentum nibh, ut fermentum massa justo sit amet risus. Cras mattis consectetur purus sit amet fermentum. Cras mattis consectetur purus sit amet fermentum.

 

Trusting 15 Minutes From Now

Jenna Starkey

Those who may know me, know that I am not exactly a morning person. I've been told several times in my life that I have "inertia" in many settings: sleep, excitement and work. Sometimes it's hard for me to truly switch gears. Ever been accused of that?

As a coach, I've done a lot of work investigating what supports my optimal way of being in the world, and this is what I've found to be my perfect recipe for energized mornings:

1. 9 hours of sleep

2. Ginger tea before bed, not wine

3. 10-15 minutes of headspace before bed AND right when I wake up

4. Setting my clothes out the night before

5. Defining my morning exercise before bed

6. Having water by my bed at all times.

7. Ready to fall asleep by 10:30 at the LATEST

Awesome. I can't tell you how happy it's made me to find this perfect formula - because alas I know how to control my good vibes every day....

JUST KIDDING.

It is quite literally impossible to maintain this perfect recipe every single day. IMPOSSIBLE. No matter what kind of enlightened superhuman I think I am. Things happen that throw me off course.

For one, I have fun roommates who like to crack a bottle of wine every once in awhile after 7pm. I also live in the noisiest neighborhood in San Francisco, so my 9 hours of sleep very often gets interrupted. I also have a boyfriend who lives in a different state, who likes to call me at random times. I could go on listing the ways my routine gets knocked off track during a given week, but I have a feeling you may be able to relate. 

I discovered a little mental trick a few months ago that I'd love to start sharing with the world. It's something that has supported me tremendously especially in those wee hours of the morning when I'm forced to open my eyes before I want to.

Behold: The Trust 15 Mindset Trick

This is how it works .... Anytime I feel uncomfortable about doing anything in a given moment, I integrate my body and mind by putting my hands on my heart and stomach while whispering this mantra to myself:

"Trust that 15 minutes from now you will feel very different, Jenna. Trust you have what it takes to shift the momentum into one with more energy and focus."

Saying this to myself in the morning helps me access the Inner Wisdom within me rather than the doubtful Critic. It helps me get moving without resentment, but rather with pride and with gusto. 

I also started applying this to moments when I'm feeling particularly anxious or overwhelmed about something. In those moments, I allow myself time to truly pause, take a walk, play three of my favorite songs, or better yet meditate for 15 minutes until I have fully calmed down and integrated with my body. 

This also works when I'm pissed off, embarrassed, hurt by someone, intimidated, jealous - name the emotion and it works for that too. We are incredibly resilient humans as you may have noticed. If your skin can heal a wound, so can time heal your pinched mind. 

Trusting in 15 minutes from now has been one of my best kept secrets, and I'm hoping it may help you too with early mornings and moments of (un-invited) inertia. :)

 

 

Thoughts For A Heartbroken Client

Jenna Starkey

Dear friend,

I know you are feeling blue right now. Remember how very human this feeling is and also how important for long-term growth. Though I think you're setting yourself up well to turn a corner, especially with the move. What's funny is I've been thinking of proposing a move for you - this feels like a great call.

As for the part-time gig, I think that's perfect. Seriously, enough to keep you energized and rebuild a routine. But not too much where you don't have room to plan your dreams. 

What's possible for you with the job and the new apartment ?

As for your constant thoughts of "D" [insert first initial of ex ]  - continue to be gentle with yourself. It takes time. 

But, notice - Where are you still playing victim?

Since you're in that interesting phase of continuing to (metaphorically) touch the hot stove, now is the time to get serious about re-wiring your brain. Do everything in your power to re-incentivize yourself and take your power back with gusto like someone you deeply and uniquely admire (i.e. George Carlin or Chrissy Tiegan).

The image that always helped me was thinking of "a dog going back to its on vomit." Seriously gross but helpful. Every time you think of her you need to associate it with visceral disgust and maybe laughter and disbelief, not pleasure. 

If I were you, I'd focus on the move, the new job and really start to dream of new horizons. 

How can you focus ONLY on new stuff for awhile? How could this help you?

Create a new space that's all yours. Go places you've never been. Listen to new music you've never heard. Depression comes from looking backwards, not forwards. Do everything in your power to look forward - truly you must fake it till you make. 

If I were giving advice to my former heartbroken self, I'd tell myself to begin showing up differently physically, almost as a form of trickery to my internal self. Dress the way you would if you felt free, cook the way you would if you felt free, exercise the way you would if you felt free ... This will help recalibrate you.

And if all the above is too much, focus on your two new things (job + apartment) to start this process! How do these new possibilities excite you? Keep that top of mind.

Be gentle. Take heart. You got this.

Love, Jenna

P.S. Please replace his/her name with just the letter "D" - in your mind, in convo and in writing. Can you do that? That name is a loaded gun. Put it down. 

 

 

Micro-Coaching: Coaching For The Twitter Generation

Jenna Starkey

I got off the phone with a beloved client of mine just moments ago. She needed 10 minutes of my time to talk through a personal situation while at work. She broke up with her boyfriend over the weekend and was in dire need to figure out her living situation, and pronto. She sent me a video message explaining the situation, and I agreed to 10 minutes of Micro-Coaching. She paid me in advance for a fraction of her normal fee. 

I was prepared. 

It was efficient. 

We got to the point.

She processed her thoughts.

She got her money's worth.

It didn't cost her time. 

She walked away free and energized.

Let's be honest, millennials just don't have the luxury of time anymore. At least not in theory. Between demanding jobs, social media, relationships, health, and sanity, time has become something we hoard. Every minute counts; every moment is precious. 

These Micro-Coaching Sessions are something I'm launching this week as a result of the "AH HA Moment" I experienced with this short and sweet session this morning. 

We got the work done. 

My client can now move on with her day thanks to 10 minutes. That's what I'm celebrating today.

Curious to try a Micro-Coaching Session? Try it for yourself.

No Really, Life is About Creating

Jenna Starkey

I had a moment at the Sasquatch Music Festival back in May that flashed at me like a beam of light. Something became crystal clear to me as if Eckart Tolle-enlightened - that life is about one thing: Creating. 

It was the day after I met my now boyfriend John. It was a magical weekend for me, meeting this wonderful music loving mountain man, and staring off into the cathedral-like vistas of the Columbia Gorge. We were standing about 15 people away from 27-year-old Claire Elise Boucher (Grimes) as she prepared to play her midday set. Both John and I were skeptical about the artist. We had heard a few songs and were intrigued, but it was my best friends Erica and Rachel who encouraged me to show up for it.

As John and I stood there 5 songs in, we realized "Holy Shit, this girl is expressing every fiber of her being right now." That's what we both thought as we crept closer, nodding with acceptance that she was in fact a little bit of a genius; producing and performing something that so clearly came from the most genuine places within her, albeit bizarre. We both wondered about what her parents thought of their sweet girl busting balls, taking names, and pushing limits. As a fellow 27-year-old at the time, I was dumbfounded to see how she showed up that day.

I looked behind the stage to see the breathtaking view, and then back at the ridiculous crowd of adoring fans, then back at the dancers on stage - and was taken aback. What the fuck is this life? Who decided to put an amphitheater here?? How did this girl have the courage to unload her insides and start growling into microphones like this?? 

It was a mix of elation and wonder at the thought of what was possible for us laymen people; all of us still holding back, keeping our insides so neatly tucked in. Why the fuck is it so hard to unleash? What does that glittering gold look like inside all of these people? Surely every single one of those fans has the same magic that Grimes does. It's in there some where I know it is! - I thought.

This realization hit me like a frying pan. I started to stare at John and wonder what kind of brilliant magic was locked inside him? He loves to play the bass guitar, he loves to write, he loves standup comedy. And yet, those descriptions of his creativity didn't satisfy what I knew he was capable of. There's genius in there, I had zero doubt. What could John create if he didn't have to go to his 9-5 job every day? What sparkly magic did I yet have the chance to witness? I was overcome. 

As a coach, this thought started to tickle me immensely and it showed up in every one of my sessions soon after. I'd sit on the call and really wonder, "What magic is still in this body that needs getting out?" I started to notice and pull the ribbons out of my clients and friends more than I ever had before. "I've always wanted to do Bollywood dance" "Sign up today!" / "I've always wanted to write a book" "Send me a chapter by next week!" / "I want to do a radio show!" "Email my DJ friend right now!"

And soon each of these ribbons started to become things, projects made with substance. When my best friend aired her first radio show on Bff.fm a few weeks ago, I lost my shit. The glimmer of her idea to start a blog and then take it to the next level has now become so very real and 3-Dimensional. In that moment (and this one too) it became clear that we all just have to get started.

Almost 5 months later, I'm still not over that moment back in May. I think about it every day. Everything reminds me of it. The art, the photos, the words, the conversations, the relationships, the homes, the music, the laughter, the clothing, the cooking, the exercise, the work, the choices, the love, the dreams ... All of these things are created. We get to create our lives in each and every moment. How cool is that? Life is a completely blank slate in each and every moment. Fresh moments, every moment.

Here we are, what do you want to do with this? Nothing is pre-determined. GO FOR IT. DO THE THING. It's a matter of turning your insides out and showing the world what you've got. To inspire, to be dazzled by the glitter of possibility. You have NO idea what tomorrow will bring. No one can predict it. So go the fuck ahead and unleash something that tickles you. Let your dreams soar. 

My wish for myself is that I take my own advice. To "Play Big" as Tara Mohr would say. To "Dare Greatly" as Brene Brown would say. To harness the "Big Magic" as Elizabeth Gilbert would say. I've got to do it because no one else will do the thing inside me. As far as I'm concerned, the point of life is to unleash that glittery gold magic that is so absolutely tucked inside. :)

(credit: TML photo c/o Brooks Miller, photo of John & Jenna c/o me, Gorge photo c/o Gorgeampitheathre.com, Grimes photo c/o cbslocal)

My Personal Development Book List

Jenna Starkey

Coaching & Life Design

Conversational Skills

Creativity

Fulfillment, Mindfulness & Getting Unstuck

Leadership

Learning, Prioritization & Productivity

Money

Personality & Self-Awareness

Psychology of Motivation, Influence, & Change

Positive Psychology

Team & Culture

Vulnerability & Risk Taking

Understanding Your Brain

*Please note many of these titles belong in multiple categories, but in order to simplify I chose just one.

Fear

Jenna Starkey

FEAR: ˈfir/noun: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

________________________________________

Oh do I have some things to write about fear.

Fear is the monger, the gremlin, the fibber, the thief.  

Read More

Spaciousness

Jenna Starkey

Earlier this year I left a very stable job. A job I was proud of, my family was proud of, and which afforded me comfort in obvious ways.

Since I was a little girl, I always knew there was something spectacular about life. I knew there was possibility busting through the cracks in my bedroom door that I didn't feel like most people were taking advantage of. I felt awe inspiring wonder pulsing from beyond my classroom walls. This energy was always present and waiting for me I knew; it was as obvious and alluring to me as the sun rising each day. 

Read More

What is the Enneagram and why do I love it so much?

Jenna Starkey

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that my mom introduced me to when I was young to help everyone in my family understand each other better (like most families, we struggled with that big time).  The structure of the system is based around nine personality types with elements rooted in traditional teachings such as the Seven Deadly Sins and the Kaballah. In essence, each of the types is defined by a distinct motivation based around what has evolved to be nine basic vices/virtues.

Read More

My Personal Book List

Jenna Starkey

1. "When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by Pema Chodron 

2. "The Wisdom of The Enneagram" by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson 

3. "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

4. "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown

Read More